he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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