did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
