he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
