Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
