Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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