"it" just moved
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
