We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
