just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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