Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
