The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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