im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
