It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
