I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
