I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
