you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
