i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
