Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
As shirtless as possible
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
