ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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