new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize