return my video game
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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