2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
