called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
