Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize