Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
