He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
