So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
