And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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