I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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