I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize