i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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