I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
