OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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