i was born a porn star she said
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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