dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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