think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
