Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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