and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I will be naked everywhere
Every concussion has its silver lining
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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