Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
