There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
one might say we're banned from that church
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
