wat bout pragnant strippers??
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
