Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i now understand why vodka
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
