After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
