birth control should be required to get into college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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