My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
