Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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