Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
