You work out of a Hotel?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
