Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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