I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
