i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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