you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
