Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
