I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
