Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
MIDGETS
????
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
