just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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