it's like iHOP with fire
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize