Will you blow on my dice?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
