i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
