I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
