Moan for me like Helen Keller
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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