he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
